First off, congratulations! Second, I am not going to be that annoying person who tells you to enjoy every minute of your puking, under-boob-sweating, stretch-mark-inducing, anxiety-provoking pregnancy. Growing another human being inside your body, while totally worth it, is freaking hard work. But I am going to be the one to tell you about […]
’80s Movies That Pregnant Women Should Avoid
I love the ’80s. And believe it or not, the guilty-pleasure teen movies from that decade inadvertently taught me a lot about parenting. The thrillers and horror movies, on the other hand? They inadvertently taught me a lot about pregnancy…and it’s nothing that I wanted to know or even wanted think about. In fact, they […]
Pregnancy Boobs Are Great Until…
Aside from the exciting news that you’re expecting, in those first few weeks of pregnancy, there’s one other big benefit to being knocked up—or should I say two big benefits: Your boobs look great. Damn great. Victoria’s Secret would be lucky to have you, and your husband keeps checking you out like a teenager […]
5 Things That Scare Me About My Second Pregnancy
After going through pregnancy and labor once, I thought I’d be an old pro this time around. I mean, I’ve been there, done (every excited, bloated and painful bit of) that, and I know what to expect. And therein lies part of the problem: I know what to expect. The other part of the problem? […]
We Don’t Give Our Kids Enough Credit
I wrote this post about a month and a half ago, at 19 weeks pregnant. Since I wasn’t ready for the big pregnancy reveal just yet, this post sat patiently on my desktop until I was indeed good and ready. And now, here we are… Kids are amazing. And I mean that in […]
The Momsanity’s About to Multiply!
When I was in college, my best friend totally called me out on my penchant for keeping secrets. She’d joke that someday I’d probably have an entire secret life in Anguilla (the most exotic-sounding place that our 19-year-old selves could think of)—that I’d get married, have three kids and wait years to tell anyone about […]
The Problem with "Enormous" Baby Bumps
If I see one more headline talking about Jill Duggar’s “huge” baby bump, I am going to scream. The woman is five days past her due date. Same goes for Kate Middleton, whose belly is getting “bigger than ever!” And don’t even get me started on Global News meteorologist Kristi Gordon, who received shockingly mean […]
Flat Martini and Momsanity Take Manhattan!
Flat Stanley needs no introduction. Flat Martini might, since he’s usually passed out somewhere after a vodka-and-olives bender and has a tendency to miss the kid-friendly, daylight hours. But he’s a riot, and I was happy to host this boozy little visitor on his world tour for the awesome site Martinis and Minivans. Let’s […]
I'm Totally Jealous of This Mom…and You Will Be, Too (Sorry!)
Envy isn’t an attractive quality in a mom—or in any human being. I try to avoid it, and I catch myself when I’m jealously eyeing the way some random stranger fits into a pair of skinny jeans that look terrible on me, but it’s tough sometimes. In my non-mom-blogger alternate reality, I’m an actor, […]
Can I Please Eat My Pickle in Peace?
As a married woman of childbearing age, I cannot eat a pickle in peace. No, if I casually mention to someone that I had some deliciously sour pickles, if I eat one at lunch in public, or—heaven forbid!—post about the fact that I’m craving one on any form of social media, the state of […]