“Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it will absolutely not stop, ever, until you are dead.” Is it too dramatic to compare my 8-month-old to the Terminator? Honest question. I […]
Today's a New Day (Thank God!)
Most days, I feel like I’m doing a pretty decent job as a parent. The kids are alive. They’ve been fed. They’re encouraged to express their individuality. They may have had a meltdown or two, but they’re generally happy. They’re relatively unscathed. (Caveat: I have a 4-year-old boy, so there’s at […]
The First Six Months: Well, That Went Fast!
You know how when you were a kid, the days seemed to last forever? And a year? You felt like you’d never get to the end of it. I’m not sure how this was possible since the mechanics of time obviously haven’t changed and we were all on the hamster wheel […]
Go to Sleep, Child! Mommy Needs to Work!
I have been sitting here, staring at my computer screen, for about 15 minutes now. It’s not even that I have writer’s block. I have a ton of ideas percolating in this lump of rock that doubles as my brain these days. I even have a half-dozen half-finished posts and assorted […]
Why Should a Baby Girl's Haircut Cost More Than a Boy's?
When it comes to gender, things are a lot different today than when we grew up…or are they? Many parents want to expose their daughters to trucks as well as tulle and their sons to baby dolls in addition to baseball. But society doesn’t always cooperate, and everyone from store managers to nosy strangers […]
Why My Son's Cold Turned Me Into a Crazy Lunatic
When a 3-year-old is sick, it sucks. You’re alternately snuggling with a sad-looking child, wiping an eternally runny nose, dealing with more emotional instability than usual, and trying to contain him from destroying your living room with a makeshift lightsaber. I thought I knew how hard it was, but I was […]
10 Ways ‘The Walking Dead’ Is Frighteningly Similar to Having a Newborn
It might be the sleep deprivation talking, but it has occurred to me on more than one occasion that two of my favorite things in this world—The Walking Dead and being the parent of an adorably sweet, fresh-out-of-the-swaddle newborn—have more than a few things in common. In between sips of highly caffeinated […]
Why I'm Going Topless for the Next Two Weeks
My postpartum body is amazing. Really. No, I haven’t lost all of the baby weight, and it seems like it’s going to be more of a struggle this time around. (Thanks, second baby and advanced maternal age!) And I’m not talking about breastfeeding, even though I do think it’s […]
The Injustices of Parenthood
When you’re staring at your beautiful newborn or cuddling with your (miraculously silent, momentarily well-behaved) toddler, you know that life is good. Really good. But wouldn’t it be nice if a few things were just a little bit better? Nothing about your perfect little cherubs, of course. I’m talking about a few teensy, […]
The Joy—and Guilt—of Motherhood
“Enjoy every minute—it goes so fast!” It’s the phrase that drives every mom of young kids to drink. (Seriously, is the wine industry giving these people a kickback or something?) But the thing is, even though I would never utter those words to an exhausted new mom, I do believe it. And I’m currently […]