Guys, I think that I’m old. Like, officially old. And I’m not happy about this fact or this realization. At all. I blame the ridiculously lovely ladies of Pretty Little Liars. Everyone’s got a TV obsession. Most of my friends have binge-watched Breaking Bad and Orange Is the New Black over the last […]
No Blankie, One Slight Problem
I am my son’s lovey. He never formed an attachment to a blankie or a stuffed animal, though I tried. No, he only wants my hair. It’s long and brown, and I think he developed a particular affinity for it while breastfeeding. (Personally, I think I’m cultivating his future love of long-haired brunettes…or […]
In Defense of Moms of All Ages
Is there a perfect age to become a mom? I think so. Now before you start frantically scanning the rest of this post for a number, there isn’t one there. Deciding when to have a kid is such an individual, personal choice, I’m amazed that it keeps coming up as a topic of discussion. […]
A Few Choice Words for Judgey Parents
To the parents at the museum who witnessed my child’s second-only public meltdown in his 22 months of existence: Wipe those horrified, judgey expressions off your faces before I smack them off. You know you’ve been there—probably more than I have—so don’t even pretend like you haven’t. That’s the nice version of what I […]
Justifying My Pedicure…and Other Things
I’m getting a pedicure right now. Yep, as I type this post. And as the woman applying a color I’ll probably regret in two days is telling me that I should stop typing and close my eyes and relax. Yeah, not happening, lady. I’ve got a toddler at home, and this mom’s got to […]
Bitchy Resting Face: The Infant Edition
Today, I met a little girl with Bitchy Resting Face. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t upset. She was actually pretty neutral. She just had bitch-face. I’d thought this phenomenon was strictly limited to adults, but I guess it has to start at some point, right? She was a toddler, but a young […]
When Cute Kids Do Disgusting Things
I got some really good advice recently regarding my toddler from a 10-year-old: “You have to let him touch everything, even the gross stuff, so that he learns about it.” The gross stuff in question was a wriggling, writhing worm. And my wise little advisor, the son of an old friend, was right. […]
Much Ado About Nothing
I did nothing today. A blissful amount of nothing, in fact. I didn’t go to the gym this morning, which was the original plan. Or this afternoon during my son’s nap, which was plan #2. I also didn’t clean the natural-disaster site that is currently doubling as my bedroom. Or neatly fold and store […]
Am I Ready for Mommyhood: The Sequel?
Oh, crap. I think that my body’s back in “I want a baby” mode. And it’s literally my body, not my brain, which is definitely not onboard with this idea yet. I was sitting in my acting class a few months ago with a woman I know who was six months pregnant, and I could […]
Welcome to the Momsanity!
Hello, everyone! So…this is my inaugural post for Momsanity, which of course is putting all sorts of weird pressure on it. Maybe the best thing to do would be to tell you about how this project was conceived. Nope, not in the bathroom of a dive bar after a few too many Mai Tais. […]
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