You know how before you have kids, you’re never supposed to say—never even supposed to hint—that you know what it’s like to have a kid because you have a dog? I mean, you know it’s different, but when you’re looking into that adorable little puppy’s eyes and loving her till your heart practically bursts, […]
Other Parents Suck
People are a-holes. No, not all people, but lots of them. And when those people become parents, they’re most likely still going to be a-holes. The thing is, people don’t change. As women, we’ve been told this time and time again—and we’ve experienced it time and time again—in our dating lives. But yet, I […]
Why Frozen and 8 Other Children’s Movies Terrify Me
Disney cartoons are lovely, aren’t they? Stories of triumph over hardship. Dreamy ball gowns. Sweet forest creatures that help you do housework. Dead moms everywhere. Wait—what? Yep, dead moms. The whole dead-mother thing in Disney movies has been discussed before, but since becoming a mom and watching this stuff with my toddler, it just […]
All I Want for Mother’s Day
Don’t get me wrong: I’d never turn down a massage, chocolate, diamonds or the offer to sleep in. I mean, I may look like I’ve lost my mind, but it’s still rattling around in my head somewhere. But Mother’s Day isn’t just about all of the bells, whistles and foot rubs. (Though I did […]
11 Truths About Motherhood
Some experiences are truly universal. If you’re a mom, this is your life. 11. You are king, queen and servant all rolled into one. You are loved. You are worshipped. You are Mommy. Now wipe that tushy, sing three Laurie Berkner songs in rapid succession and make some grilled cheese—and don’t forget to cut […]
To the UPS Guy Who Just Saw My Living Room
Dear UPS Guy: So…my apartment is a total mess. I know it. You know it. We don’t talk about it, and that’s fine. But today, well, I feel like we need to address it. I’m sure you’re going to say that you’ve seen it all, but really, this may have taken the proverbial cake, […]
A Lesson in Defensive Toddlering
You know how you learned all about defensive driving in Driver’s Ed? It’s super important and you use it every time you’re in a car, right? Right. Then why the heck doesn’t anyone teach moms about defensive toddlering? It’s another essential, life-or-death skill. Yes, defensive toddlering. Because toddlers are always doing something dangerous, death-defying […]
5 Things I Miss About Breastfeeding…And 5 Things I Don’t
I loved breastfeeding. And no one was more surprised about that little fact than me. I mean, it was always something I knew I’d wanted to try, but it was also something that always seemed a little intimidating and daunting to me. I wasn’t sure if I could do it or, to be perfectly honest, […]
How '80s Movies Prepared Me for Parenthood
I love a good ’80s movie. And quite honestly, I don’t fully trust a person who doesn’t. But who knew that my favorite guilty pleasure would actually help me to become a good mom? I know that I’m pretty great at rationalizing things, but hear me out! These 13 classics from […]
Why Is Bedtime So Ridiculously Frustrating?
My husband is suddenly The Toddler Whisperer. As in, he’s gotten our 2-year-old to bed in seven minutes or less every night for the past two weeks. I don’t know if I want to throw him a parade or throw something heavy at his head. Because I’m not having any luck with bedtime […]
