When you’re pregnant, everyone and their mother (literally) will tell you what you absolutely, positively can’t live without when your little bundle of joy arrives. Helpful registry attendants will hand you pages worth of lists along with that little scanner gun. Friends will happily reminisce about the products they loved. Random strangers will offer […]
Mommy’s Having Some Serious Separation Anxiety
Mama’s had a rough two weeks. First, there was the haircut. My 2-year-old had needed a haircut for months…but it would be his first haircut. As in, that precious baby hair that took forever to grow in. It was wispy and overgrown and so much a part of him and his babyness that I […]
The Best Books for Baby's Bedtime
There are a few certainties in life. Taxes. Death. And the fact that when a group of new moms gets together, they will talk about whether or not their babies are sleeping, how much they’re sleeping and what tricks are best used to get them sleeping more. Which brings us to the all-important bedtime […]
When Did I Get Old?
Guys, I think that I’m old. Like, officially old. And I’m not happy about this fact or this realization. At all. I blame the ridiculously lovely ladies of Pretty Little Liars. Everyone’s got a TV obsession. Most of my friends have binge-watched Breaking Bad and Orange Is the New Black over the last […]
No Blankie, One Slight Problem
I am my son’s lovey. He never formed an attachment to a blankie or a stuffed animal, though I tried. No, he only wants my hair. It’s long and brown, and I think he developed a particular affinity for it while breastfeeding. (Personally, I think I’m cultivating his future love of long-haired brunettes…or […]
In Defense of Moms of All Ages
Is there a perfect age to become a mom? I think so. Now before you start frantically scanning the rest of this post for a number, there isn’t one there. Deciding when to have a kid is such an individual, personal choice, I’m amazed that it keeps coming up as a topic of discussion. […]
A Few Choice Words for Judgey Parents
To the parents at the museum who witnessed my child’s second-only public meltdown in his 22 months of existence: Wipe those horrified, judgey expressions off your faces before I smack them off. You know you’ve been there—probably more than I have—so don’t even pretend like you haven’t. That’s the nice version of what I […]
Justifying My Pedicure…and Other Things
I’m getting a pedicure right now. Yep, as I type this post. And as the woman applying a color I’ll probably regret in two days is telling me that I should stop typing and close my eyes and relax. Yeah, not happening, lady. I’ve got a toddler at home, and this mom’s got to […]
Bitchy Resting Face: The Infant Edition
Today, I met a little girl with Bitchy Resting Face. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t upset. She was actually pretty neutral. She just had bitch-face. I’d thought this phenomenon was strictly limited to adults, but I guess it has to start at some point, right? She was a toddler, but a young […]
When Cute Kids Do Disgusting Things
I got some really good advice recently regarding my toddler from a 10-year-old: “You have to let him touch everything, even the gross stuff, so that he learns about it.” The gross stuff in question was a wriggling, writhing worm. And my wise little advisor, the son of an old friend, was right. […]
