OK, moms: Sunday marks your 24 hours of appreciation for every nose you wipe, every stuffed-animal tea party you throw and every hour of sleep you lose all year long.
Yes, most of us will still be doing a good portion of that on our one day of supposed relaxation. But at least we’ll also get more kisses, a lovingly crafted pasta necklace, breakfast in bed and maybe even a gift certificate to the spa.
And really, how can I top those wonderful gifts? I can’t. But I can give you a Mother’s Day present that will last all year long: Some mommy reminders for the other 364 days, when little ones (and big ones) aren’t being quite as lovely and accommodating.
So, remember that…
It is fully acceptable to half-parent a child age over the age of 2 if he wakes up before 6 a.m. Translation: You can lay on the couch, eyes closed, and tell your kid to fend for himself in your very safe, kid-proofed living room until you are functional. Independent play is good for development, anyway, right? Right.
It’s a phase. Whatever your kid is going through, this, too, shall pass. Survival is the key, and soon, whatever hideous behavior you’re being subjected to will be a distant memory.
No mother is perfect. Also, the louder and more emphatic other moms are about their parenting views, the more insecure they are in their actual parenting.
Reading the comments sections of certain parenting websites that shall not be named is usually a bad idea. You know which ones. They are depressing and disheartening, and you will alternately get uncontrollably angry at complete strangers and feel awful about yourself. And that’s when you’re having a good day.
You are not a bad mother if you turn on the TV occasionally. Or hide in the bathroom, pretending to pee for an Austin Powers length of time when you’re really texting your best mom friend or reading a funny Facebook post. Mama needs a break sometimes.
Just because you love being a parent does not mean you need to love being a homemaker. Statistics show that women, regardless of whether or not they have full-time jobs, do more housework than men. Female guilt is a horrible thing. We’re supposed to do it all, aren’t we? No, we’re not. It’s 2016. Tell your husband to do the dishes. His hands won’t fall off.
Most parenting rules don’t apply when you’re pregnant. That’s how I approached my second pregnancy, anyway.
Caffeine is your friend. Your BFF, your soul mate, your lover, your precious. Too much? I obviously haven’t had enough of it today, and if you just found yourself agreeing with me, neither have you.