I can’t believe that I’m going to admit this in a public forum, but here goes: I am apparently not as smart as a fifth grader—or a preschooler.
I was the valedictorian of my high school class. I took courses like Calculus and Advanced Placement Biology. I finished college a year early, with honors. I went to grad school.
I list these academic accomplishments not to brag but because I am completely baffled as to how I cannot perform simple toddler and preschool tasks.
Seriously, have you tried to put together a Lego set recently? Or any sort of architectural-type project that’s aimed at the 3- to 5-year-old set?
I have, and let me tell you—it isn’t pretty.
I’ve seen The Lego Movie. I know that I’m supposed to let my inner master builder out, let the creativity lead me where it may. And you know what? I have discovered that I have zero creativity when it comes to these things. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I can’t even make my creation look like the picture on the damn box.
It is seriously embarrassing. Of course, my almost-3-year-old has no clue. He’s just thrilled that Mommy is on the floor with him, being silly and creating the most pathetic-looking towers and buildings known to man. (My commentary, not his…yet.)
But sit there, I do, with a big smile on my face, making a big fuss as we make teetering, tottering creations and little enclosures (i.e., basic boxes) for his zoo animals and dinosaurs. I attempt to follow the instructions and am way too proud of myself when my mess of Lego pieces start to look like…something. Unfortunately, I usually get about halfway through before things go awry, mutter a profanity under my breath and throw the instruction manual in the air in frustration.
I am good at one thing, though: I’m like the Liam Neeson of Lego. When one disappears, I always find it…usually with a bare foot.
Was I always this bad at things like this? Is the Lego-building part of my brain defective? Or did I just grow up and lose some of that magical kid creativity along the way? Or maybe I really did kill too many of my brain cells with tequila shots back in the day?
I guess I’ll never know. All I have to say is: Thank God that as a mom, I have other good qualities.