When I was in college, my best friend totally called me out on my penchant for keeping secrets. She’d joke that someday I’d probably have an entire secret life in Anguilla (the most exotic-sounding place that our 19-year-old selves could think of)—that I’d get married, have three kids and wait years to tell anyone about […]
Should a 6-Year-Old Have to Use the Men's Room by Himself?
There’s been a lot of potty talk lately. And it’s not just because I have a 3-year-old. First there was Ashton “Dude, Where’s My Changing Table?” Kutcher, talking about the pathetic lack of changing tables in men’s restrooms. And rightly so. And now, there’s the whole brouhaha over the makeshift sign in an […]
Flat Martini and Momsanity Take Manhattan!
Flat Stanley needs no introduction. Flat Martini might, since he’s usually passed out somewhere after a vodka-and-olives bender and has a tendency to miss the kid-friendly, daylight hours. But he’s a riot, and I was happy to host this boozy little visitor on his world tour for the awesome site Martinis and Minivans. Let’s […]
Reminder: Why Moms Can't Have Nice Things
My son has ruined television for me. Which really sucks, because I really like television. I realize that probably makes me sound lame, but it’s the truth. I like to curl up on the couch, computer in my lap (yep, that’s me, right now), writing and screwing around on the Internet. I grew up […]
Got a Plan for the Apocalypse?
You’re going to think I’m nuts, but the week before last, I asked my husband if he had an emergency plan if New York City gets hit by the plague. This wasn’t a tongue-in-cheek, hypothetical conversation discussing the zombie apocalypse—though I kind of tested the waters by having a semi-flippant attitude, in case he […]
The Perils of Being an Overscheduled Mom
I have yet to meet a mom who isn’t scheduled within an inch of her life. It sounds dramatic, I know, like we’re all dangling off the edge of a cliff, clawing at the dirt and hanging on for dear life. But God, it really does feel like that some days. I’m writing this […]
9 Things That Make Me Happy
I don’t need to tell you this, but sometimes life is just exhausting. And difficult. And seemingly unwinnable. And, if you have a small child, snotty. As in, there just might be actual snot everywhere. Some weeks, it threatens to overwhelm you and make you want to hide under the covers until someone brings […]
Other Parents Suck
People are a-holes. No, not all people, but lots of them. And when those people become parents, they’re most likely still going to be a-holes. The thing is, people don’t change. As women, we’ve been told this time and time again—and we’ve experienced it time and time again—in our dating lives. But yet, I […]
My Toddler and the Vacuum: A Love Story
You know you’ve been falling down on the job with your housecleaning when your 2-year-old thinks that the vacuum is an exotic item. As in, he lights up when he sees it. He excitedly calls its name over and over again in his little toddler voice. He pretends to clean the carpet with it. […]
No Blankie, One Slight Problem
I am my son’s lovey. He never formed an attachment to a blankie or a stuffed animal, though I tried. No, he only wants my hair. It’s long and brown, and I think he developed a particular affinity for it while breastfeeding. (Personally, I think I’m cultivating his future love of long-haired brunettes…or […]