“It’s 10 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Children Are?”

“Hey, Mom—it’s 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are? Look, I’M RIGHT HERE!”

So said my 9-year-old daughter the other day before erupting into giggles.

A few months ago, she and her brother had gotten an education about the olden days—you know, those wild ‘80s years when parents literally had no idea where their kids were for half (three-quarters?) of the day, especially in the summer. I had stumbled upon a Facebook meme where a young’un was wondering if that line above was a real thing. The comments section, of course, was on fire, and I couldn’t help the guffaw that slipped out as I was reading people of a certain age (ahem, my age) reminiscing about this ridiculousness.

That’s where the kids came in. Because I am literally not allowed to guffaw, smile or smirk without them inquiring why.

I told them, matter-of-factly, like a history lesson of sorts, and of course, they had lots of questions … once they picked their jaws off the floor.

“What do you mean parents didn’t know where their kids were at 10 p.m.—or all day? They needed someone on TV to remind them?”

“Did they just forget they had kids?”

“What was wrong with parents back then?”

It was hard not to guffaw, smile and smirk at that point too. I mean, we did survive, with STORIES (yes, all caps necessary) … and here we all are now, probably helicoptering the crap out of our own kids. I mean, even when we don’t want to, we kind of do—just because that’s what parents do now. And what would it look like if we didn’t? I mean, we might actually get thrown in jail these days, to be fair, but the amount of anxiety I would have not knowing where they were at all times? Truly, I can’t even begin to put it into words here, though I know that day is coming, especially since my oldest turned 13 this year.

That said, there’s definitely a happy middle ground between ‘80s-style negligence and whatever the heck we have going on today. I mean, kids need independence. They need to push boundaries. Wander. Get a little lost. Make mistakes. Bond with friends away from prying parental eyes. Have an adventure.

All of that is what makes life better and more worthwhile—and what will make them strong, interesting and resilient. The stories they’ll have at the end of their adventures will ultimately shape who they become.

Of course, I say this as I fight the urge to control those adventures to some degree. There’s zero chance I will ever not want to know where they are at 10 p.m., and it literally hurts my heart to some degree when I’m not with them.

But it’s important—just as important as keeping them safe and close by.

So I am trying my best to fight back my anxiety and step out of my comfort zone so they can step out of theirs. That said, if they want to do some of that from my basement while hanging out with their friends at 10 p.m., even better.

TELL US: What kinds of ridiculously wonderful shenanigans did you get up to as a kid?